October is ADHD Awareness Month and an opportunity to increase understanding of ADHD and challenge some of the assumptions that still surround it. When people think about ADHD, they may picture a child who can’t sit still or struggles to concentrate at school. But ADHD can look very different from person to person, and it doesn’t disappear when someone reaches adulthood.
ADHD is More Than Being Distracted
ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can affect attention, impulsivity and activity levels, but its impact can be much wider than this.
Someone with ADHD might find it difficult to concentrate on something that doesn’t hold their interest, while becoming completely absorbed in something that does. They may struggle with organisation, remembering appointments, managing time or getting started on tasks — even when those tasks are important to them.
For some people, there may be obvious hyperactivity. For others, particularly those whose ADHD has gone unnoticed for many years, it can feel more like a constantly busy mind. Some even describe it as feeling like their mind has too many tabs open like on a computer screen.
ADHD can also affect emotions. Feeling overwhelmed, becoming frustrated quickly or experiencing emotions very intensely can sometimes be part of the picture.
When ADHD Goes Unrecognised
Not everyone with ADHD is diagnosed in childhood. Some people reach adulthood having spent years wondering why certain things seem easier for everyone else. They may have been described as lazy, disorganised, forgetful, too sensitive or someone who simply needs to ‘try harder’. Over time, those messages can have an impact.
Constantly feeling that you’re getting things wrong can affect confidence and self-esteem. Some people become perfectionists or people-pleasers, working incredibly hard to compensate for the difficulties they experience. Others may struggle with anxiety, low mood or a feeling that they are somehow not quite good enough.
Receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life can therefore bring mixed emotions. There may be relief in finally having an explanation, but also sadness, anger or regret when looking back at earlier experiences through a different lens.
ADHD and Relationships
ADHD can affect relationships too. Forgetfulness, difficulty listening when distracted, impulsive reactions or feeling overwhelmed can sometimes be misunderstood by a partner, friend or family member. One person may feel they aren’t being listened to, while the person with ADHD may feel they are constantly being criticised or misunderstood. Understanding what is happening underneath these patterns can help people communicate differently and with greater compassion for each other.
How Counselling Can Help
Counselling doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ ADHD, and you don’t need a diagnosis to talk about difficulties you may be experiencing.
It can offer a space to understand yourself better, explore patterns that may be affecting your life and look at the beliefs you may have developed about yourself along the way. Most importantly, it can be somewhere you don’t have to pretend you’re coping when you’re not.
For some people, this can also mean looking back at experiences differently — perhaps questioning labels they have carried for years, such as being ‘lazy’ ‘difficult’, ‘too much’ or ‘not trying hard enough’.
Understanding yourself differently can be an important part of moving forward. Rather than focusing on what you think you should be able to do, counselling can help you recognise your own needs, understand the patterns that affect you and find ways of managing life that work better for you.
Sometimes, simply having somewhere you can talk openly, without judgement or expectation, can be a good place to start.